


can't you see you're perfect the way you are?

by Sorahana



Series: Even heroes needs saving once in a while [7]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Vomiting, implied eating problems, misunderstandings that could have been avoided, negative thoughts of body image, self conscious sport, worried bf robbie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-20 14:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10664820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorahana/pseuds/Sorahana
Summary: Sportacus starts to notice a change in his body. He thinks he's handling it well. ( Spoiler alert : he doesn't )





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so I caved and wrote this fic based on this wonderful headcanon --> https://robbie-and-the-rottens.tumblr.com/post/159451259501/so-everyone-kind-of-loves-the-robbie-is-self
> 
> please note that I'm not aiming for accuracy. i'm maximizing the hurt because i have a vague idea on where i want to take this. on that note, there's a lot of vagueness / implied problems because again, i'm not writing this for accuracy.
> 
> as always, please forgive mistakes / oocness. hope ya'll enjoy!

For the longest time, Sportacus had been told that for his kind, health is of the utmost importance. They had the energy to go for hours on end without breaking a sweat, had the natural talent to perform stunts that most people could only dream of and had a physique that was envied by all.

While Sportacus wasn’t vain with his look, he was quite proud at the body he managed to build up over the years. It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears for him to create and maintain the muscles that gave him the strength needed during rescues. Without them, he might not have the capability to hold up fallen objects long enough for people to escape or pick them up when they needed to get out of a bad situation quickly.

It was this body that had saved plenty of people in the past and he would make sure to keep it in tip top condition no matter what it took. If not for himself, than for the humans he vowed to protect.

While he’d been doing a good job on maintaining his physique, he felt like he wasn’t putting in enough effort lately. That was the only reason he could give for the slight bit of chub that was forming on his stomach.

Sportacus never really noticed it before. His life had been going swimmingly, what with the kids taking his advices to heart more often and the wonderful time that he got to spend alone with his partner. The hero loved those quality moments with Robbie, such as cooking and eating together, stay in and cuddle all day long and everything else that never failed to put a spring in his steps.

But then he took a good look at himself one morning after a shower. With only a towel covering him, Sportacus had a full display of his body. His gaze travelled from his broad shoulders down to his strong chest and finally at his stomach, which stayed there longer than usual.

His brows furrowed in confusion. Was it just him or did his stomach had a slight curve to it? Whenever he looked down at himself, he would see a flat, toned stomach and his feet. Now though, it looked a bit jutted out, not enough to be noticeable to others but to him, it was as clear as day.

Sportacus gingerly pressed his fingers against his stomach, eyes widening when he realized that it felt a bit soft. He repeated the process a few times, thinking that it was just a trick of the senses but eventually having to accept that yes, his stomach no longer had that flat, firm feel.

His hands fall limply by his side, mind buzzing with this new bit of information. What happened? Did he forgot to exercise? Sportacus was certain that he didn’t skip out on any of his daily routine. This couldn’t have been an effect from those lazy days that he spent in with Robbie, could it? Or was it his diet? Sportacus ate enough to sustain himself but lately, he’d been eating more with Robbie. He did so to encourage his partner to consume a broader range of healthy food, which ended up with them making tasty, nutritious meals together.

Sportacus gnawed his bottom lip, feeling suddenly ashamed that he even considered that spending quality time with Robbie was the cause for this. Obviously it was something that he did, or lack of, and this chub was the result of it.

Then again, maybe he was thinking too much on it. His body still looked the same, except for that unsightly bit which could easily be remedied if he did more crunches. This was probably a onetime thing and he was probably wasting time panicking over it.

Sportacus looked at himself in the mirror, forcing himself to smile encouragingly. It was nothing to be worried about. All he needed to do was exercise more and he’d have that flat stomach again in no time.

Life continued on for the hero, with nothing much changing from his routine except for that extra set of crunches. He might be placing a little more focus on his stomach when he checked himself in the morning but it was just to observe the progress he was making.

Or, a lack thereof.

Sportacus hated to admit that anxiety was slowly creeping up on him each time he faced a mirror. He thought he was taking appropriate steps to address this problem. He ate, exercised and rested properly. He religiously did crunches, even doing it a few times a day if he got the chance. Why wasn’t there any change yet?

He poked at his stomach, frowning at the softness. It deepened when it felt like the skin was bouncing when he pulled away. Baby blue eyes took in his reflection once again. Same broad shoulders, muscled arms and strong chest but then what used to be a flat and firm stomach had become soft and pudgy.

Was he really starting to get fat? A cold sort of feeling jolted through his body. For a sports elf, that was equivalent to getting trapped in a cage made of iron. Having to carry extra weight that weighed your body down, preventing you from doing things as well as you used to because the fat disrupts your balance…

Sportacus bit his thumb, panic coloring his expression. This was bad. If this was honestly happening to him, then he would be in dire trouble. He had to keep his body in tip top condition so he’d be prepared to spring to someone’s aid in a moment’s notice.

Deep inside the darkest corners of his mind, a memory emerged, sudden and unwarranted. His eyes slid shut as he sucked in a deep breath. His record wasn't completely clean. There was a black taint to it, a reminder that he had failed once. He just could not allow it to happen again. 

He anxiously let his eyes roam over his body. If doing extra exercise wasn’t cutting it, then maybe he could eat a little less. It’d be easier to burn calories if he didn’t have much of in the first place. Then again, could he get away with it? Sportacus ate with Robbie most of the time and the man would watch him like a hawk for some reason until he polished off his food.

But this was for the best, right? Getting fat wouldn’t do him any good healthwise, let alone how it would affect his relationship with Robbie. His partner deserved nothing but the best and a fat elf didn’t cut it. Not only that, if he was incapable of saving Robbie just because he had to lug around extra weight, that would honestly destroy him.

_It is for the best,_ he decided. Sportacus wouldn’t completely deprive himself of food, just cutting back and eating a smaller portion. He just had to do it until he got that flat stomach again. Then it was a matter of maintaining it and he’d increase his food intake again after that.

Yes, that was something he was able to do.

For the next week or so, Sportacus slowly reduced what he placed on his plate during meal time. The first time around, there wasn’t any incidents beyond a curious question from Robbie. He replied easily, claiming that he was already a little full from the snack he had earlier, which was just a bite of an apple but Robbie didn’t have to know that.

Robbie scrutinized him for a moment before dropping the subject. It was easier to get back into a good mood now that he knew he would be making some progress.

The second time around, he only took three quarter of a full plate of rice and chicken, which was noticeable when compared to Robbie’s full plate. Again he was questioned and once more, he gave a similar answer, this time adding that he was more tired than hungry.

Robbie looked like he wanted to question more but reluctantly backed off, much to Sportacus’ relief. While he didn’t like to fib, especially to Robbie of all people, he considered that it was a necessary sacrifice. It was for a healthier future, after all.

Sportacus of course checked himself every day, trying to not let the anxiety consume him when it looked like he was barely making any progress. It felt like it wasn’t as soft as before but he couldn’t really tell. The only thing he was certain was that an elf shouldn’t have curves, only firm muscle.

To add to his uneasiness, Sportacus started to notice that Robbie was staring at him. Sometimes he would catch his partner looking at him with an odd sort of expression before he turned away, redirecting the attention to something else. At times the hero would get this strange sensation that he was being watched but when he looked around, he’d find Robbie with his nose deep into a book or tinkering away on a new invention.

Was Robbie’s sudden interest in him had something to do with his weight gain? Sportacus’ usual outfit was skin tight so any changes would be noticeable. Did he saw the chub on his stomach? It didn’t really stick out but he supposed if he focused on it, he could see the slight curve.

If he did, what did he thought about it? Was his image ruined in the villain’s eyes? Would Robbie leave him for someone skinnier and fitter? Sportacus tried to stop those thoughts from running rampage, knowing full well that Robbie was not a shallow person. While it was easy to tell himself that, believing it was another matter entirely.

At least he wasn’t acting upon this knowledge if he knew. Then again, Sportacus found it hard to tell if it was better or not. This constant level of uncertainty was really stressing him out, making him a bit out of it at times. Those horrid voices in his head would whisper nasty things while he was talking, effectively making him lose focus and then having to come up with excuses and assure everyone that he was fine.

Though this time, he made quite a silly mistake. When Robbie went out to pick up some mail and left him to his own devices inside his lair, his worry fueled thoughts over his lack of progress made him absentmindedly pick up a piece of candy from Robbie’s bowl instead of his own bowl filled with fruit.

Not realizing that he wasn’t holding a grape, Sportacus only learnt of his error after he bit down, sending a sugary flavor throughout his mouth. His eyes widened and he quickly went to the sink to spit it out, using the water to wash out the lingering flavor.

While he did his best, it was obvious that he had ingested a bit of sugar. While it wasn’t enough to send him into a sugar meltdown, what little in his stomach made him feel lethargic, not to mention causing nausea to crash into him.

Sportacus pressed a hand against his mouth, another on his stomach. His face probably turned a shade paler when the nauseous feeling spiked. The hero hurried himself to the bathroom and in his haste, forgot to close nor lock the door.

With one hand supporting himself on the sink, he hunched over slightly, head over the toilet bowl. His stomach gurgled angrily and rubbing did little to help. The longer he stayed there, the stronger the urge to throw up became. He could feel the tightness in his chest and throat as they prepared for the onslaught but nothing came up.

Oh, he started to retch, each movement making him pitch forward. With each failed attempt, the awful feeling grew, as was the discomfort in his stomach. Tears sprang in his eyes after the fifth unsuccessful gag and by then, he just wanted to get it over and done with.

Unaware of his name being called from the outside, Sportacus carefully inserted two of his fingers into his mouth, pushing it deeper until he hit the spot. His eyes squeezed shut as he poked at it, hoping that it would trigger and finally gave him the relief he wanted.

Sportacus only realized that he had an audience when he heard a surprised gasp. Eyes snapping open, his gaze flickered to the door, where he found Robbie staring at him, wide eyed and a hand covering his mouth.

_Oh no Robbie don't look at me--_

He didn’t get to do anything else other than put his head over the bowl in time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we get to see things from Robbie's POV haha. This one was a little tricky to write but I am satisfied with how it turned out. Hope ya'll enjoy!

Robbie never expected that he would be together with someone, let alone with the one that he wanted to get rid of in the beginning. Over time, he found himself tolerating the blue kangaroo and that gave way to fondness and eventually, the realization that he had a crush briefly sent him into an existential crisis.

He was a villain! How could he fall for an annoyingly active hero? Perhaps it had something to do with the kindness that he showed, regardless of everything that Robbie had done. He was always there to offer him help, even if he pushed it away the first dozen times. Not to mention, that suit of his really flattered his body and he had a smile that could cure any sickness.

He supposed the only good thing that came out of this whole crushing thing was that Sportacus harbored similar feelings. If Robbie knew where to look back then, maybe he’d seen how his actions was similar to flirting. To think that despite everything, Sportacus remained persistent and patient enough until Robbie understood his own feelings. He’d be lying if he didn’t feel a little touched.

Their confession hadn’t been all that grand. In fact, it was quite an awkward affair where they danced around the subject until Sportacus made the first move. He pulled him closer, pressing a soft, hesitant kiss on his lips to test the waters. Robbie was stunned for a moment before he carefully kissed back. Then they simply sat there, hands lightly intertwined as they slowly realized that _yes, the feelings were mutual._

Ever since that day, Robbie slowly found his life changing for the better. It wasn’t abrupt enough that he was left reeling but at a pace that he was happy to follow. During the day, they kept up the hero-villain dynamic but the moment the kids returned to their respective homes, Sportacus would find him hiding nearby, a soft smile on his lips. They’d hold hands all the way to Robbie’s lair, joking with each other until it melded into soft kisses and whispered _I love yous._

His diet had also evolved beyond the standard cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sportacus wanted him to eat healthier and as such, had filled his refrigerator with all sorts of fresh ingredients. While Robbie was a bit reluctant in the first place, he became more willing to try out new dishes when they cooked together. With the two of them and a recipe book, it was quite a fun experience that ended with them sharing a dessert that Sportacus could eat.

Robbie had been eating a lot more, as was Sportacus, which he was secretly glad for. Even before they got together, he noticed that the hero didn’t eat that much. A bite or two of an apple and he would chuck the rest over his shoulder. After Robbie learnt a little more on Elven biology, he could see why the elf would do so.

Sportacus’ unique physiology enabled him to get the most energy out of the littlest bit of food. It certainly helped when some wound up becoming heroes as they could drop everything, even when they were eating, the moment their crystal beeped. Being able to restore energy through a bite of food was also a bonus.

While this was the case, Robbie read that the amount that Sportacus ate was below the average intake. Not enough that it would risk his health but definitely bordering on unhealthy at times. Robbie definitely thought about this. Why was Sportacus purposely starving his body? How long had he been doing so? Did he even realize that he was practicing improper eating habits?

Robbie had all sort of questions but no answers that he could come up with. All of it were speculations, some of which he desperately hoped would never be the case. Straight up questioning Sportacus wasn’t an option. The last thing he wanted was for the elf to put a barrier between them.

So Robbie resolved to watch his partner eat during mealtimes. He would subtly encourage Sportacus to add an extra piece of chicken to his plate, or placed one extra scoop of stir fried vegetables. Of course to avoid suspicion, he would do so as well until they roughly had the same amount of food. Robbie would keep an eye on him, making sure that he eat everything on the plate before he left the table.

The villain was satisfied that he was eating at the appropriate level for his unique physiology. The effects of eating healthier could be seen from the healthy flush on his skin to the added burst of energy to his already impressive pool. Robbie also saw and felt the effects of a better diet as he no longer felt quite as tired during the day and he was able to get to sleep easier at night.

He was also gaining some weight, which he understood was a good thing. Robbie always knew he was a bit on the skinny, bordering on underweight side considering his impressive height. It was a miracle that his previous diet of cake and sugar hadn’t went straight to his hips. The fat he was getting was the good kind that helped build up muscle so he wasn’t bummed out upon seeing his figure looking fuller.

Everything seemed to be moving along just fine until recently. Robbie didn’t know when it exactly started but he started to notice that something seemed a bit off when Sportacus emerged from the bathroom one morning with a worried sort of look on his face. When asked, his partner assured him he just had something on his mind and that he shouldn’t worry about him.

Then came lunch time. They had made a simple meal consisting of rice, stir fried vegetables and steamed fish. Robbie piled on a good amount of food on his plate but when he looked at Sportacus, the portion on his plate seemed smaller.

“You’re not eating much?” Robbie questioned over a forkful of fish. Sportacus flashed him a smile, one that gave him an odd sort of feeling.

“I’m still a little full from the snack I had earlier,” came the easy reply. Robbie scrutinized his expression for a moment longer before nodding. So long as he was eating something, he supposed he could let this one slide.

During the next time they ate together, it was a meal consisting of white rice, braised chicken and some vegetables. This time around, it was quite noticeable that Sportacus was eating less than Robbie.

“Are you going to have seconds?” Robbie asked, trying not to let the concern seep into his features. Sportacus smiled that same smile, causing alarm bells to slowly blare at the back of his mind.

“Not really. I’m more tired than hungry right now so I just want to finish this before heading off to bed.”

Liar, was the first thought that came to mind. Unfortunately, he couldn’t completely rely what was basically a gut feeling. Baselessly accusing his partner was something he didn’t want to do so Robbie reluctantly backed off, adding this little bit of info into the mental file cabinet for later consideration.

Something was definitely up with Sportacus. With each meal time, he noticed he was eating smaller portions than before, never enough to completely tell but it fueled the worry within him anyway. Robbie didn’t know as to why the hero was cutting back. Each time he asked, there was an excuse, some of which sounded like lies. He really wanted to call him out on him but feared that doing so would make Sportacus clamp up.

So he was left with observing and contemplating. What could have triggered this regression? Sportacus had been doing so well. Now that it looked like he was slipping back to his old ways, Robbie can’t help but feel concerned. Something was obviously troubling the elf, so much so that he’d just spaced out in the middle of whatever it is that he was doing before scrambling to assure that he was fine and that he just had something on his mind.

What was it? What was consuming his thoughts so much that it seemed to affect his eating habits as well?

Robbie thought that giving Sportacus some space would get him to come around eventually but it seemed that this problem was more serious than he thought. After giving his partner a quick peck on the lips one afternoon, Robbie left the lair to go and pick up some mail. There were bills and the latest edition of Top Inventions in the box so he grabbed them and went back inside.

He placed the mail on the table while he looked around for Sportacus. Robbie was sure he was up and about before he left.

“Sportacus?” Robbie called out, his gaze sweeping the surroundings. He went to check the kitchen and the living room but they were devoid of any sports elves. On the way to the bedroom, he heard an odd sound. At first he dismissed it as the weird noises the pipes would make occasionally but then his ears picked it up again.

Robbie followed the sound all the way to the bathroom, where he could now clearly make out the sound of retching. Dread pooled in his stomach once he realized what was happening.

“Sportacus? Are you alright in there?” He received no answer beyond another retch. Noticing that the door wasn’t closed fully, he entered without warning, concern fueling his body.

The sight that he saw caused him to gasp in surprise. Sportacus was hunched over the toilet with two fingers jammed in his throat. He then looked up at him, his expression mirroring his own but before anyone could react, Sportacus pulled out his hand, face turning a shade paler as he whirled around and threw up into the bowl.

Robbie was snapped out of his stupor when his partner collapsed to his knees from the violent retching, his hands barely supporting himself from pitching face first into the bowl. He was by his side in seconds, one hand supporting his chest while the other rubbed soothing circles on his back.

Each time Sportacus looked like he was done, he only had a few seconds of heavy breathing before he leaned his head forward again and spew his insides out. Robbie remained strong even when he was internally shaken by the implications his mind was coming up with. The reduced food intake, dodging questions and now this…

What kind of partner was he if he failed to realize just how badly Sportacus was suffering?

After what seemed like forever, Sportacus finally settled down. His back was drenched from sweat, head pressed against the lid as he caught his breath. When it looked like he wasn’t going to pitch to the side, Robbie quickly grabbed a washcloth and doused it in water as well as filling up a glass.

He gently pulled the hero into his lap, letting his head rest against his shoulder. Robbie gingerly wiped his face and mouth before encouraging him to wash out the vomit taste. Sportacus does so, gargling the water and then spitting into the bowl. He crinkled his nose at the scent but quickly flushed away the contents, leaning back against Robbie afterwards.

Robbie slowly wrapped his arms around his partner, eyes sliding shut. How could he have ignored all the signs? No, it was more like he did notice but wanted Sportacus to make the first move. Should he have been more assertive even if it would have made him defensive?

So many questions whirled through his mind, each one fraying at his nerves until he finally blurted out, “There’s a better way to do this.”

Sportacus flinched slightly at the words, his tone gaining a nervous edge when he answered, “Do what?”

Robbie bit back a frustrated scream. “This. Throwing up like that… you didn’t have to do it.”

There was a moment of silence before he received a hesitant, somewhat confused reply. “While I wanted to avoid it, the nausea was just getting a bit too much. Gagged without anything coming up and I wanted to get it over and done with.”

Robbie blinked, feeling a little perplexed. “Wait, you were nauseous? What caused it? Are you feeling sick?”

Sportacus made an embarrassed sort of sound. “Uh… I accidentally… bit into one of your candies instead of a grape. I spat it out but some still got into my system. Had to expel it before it really put me into a meltdown.”

Still reeling from this information, he then asked, “How could you have mistaken grapes with candy? You’ve never done that before!”

The hero shift in his lap, the tips of his ears reddening. “I… might have been thinking about something else at the time. Wasn’t looking at what I picked up and…” A pause. “Sorry for worrying you like that. I must have scared you, huh?”

_You don’t even know the half of it_ , Robbie mentally replied. While thankfully, he wasn’t purposely making himself throw up from the reasons he thought of, he had no doubt in his mind that whatever it was that consumed Sportacus’ thoughts to the point that he made this mistake was related to the whole eating less thing.

With how tired his partner looked, Robbie figured it was a good moment to ask more pointed questions but he couldn’t find it in him to interrogate him. Instead, Robbie helped him up, half supporting him as they exited the bathroom. Sportacus got most of the sugar out of his system but he still felt quite lethargic. Instead of curing it with sportscandy, Robbie was alarmed from his decision to let it run its course.

He chose to let his body stay uncomfortably tired instead of easing it by eating some sportscandy. Essentially, Sportacus _didn’t want_ to eat.

Robbie bit his inner cheek. Everything pointed out to one thing and yet, what he just did wasn’t related to it at all. What was the truth? Quite frankly, he was getting frustrated that he didn’t have any solid answers yet. All that he knew was that Sportacus was facing problems and he hated himself for his inability to do anything to help.

The villain helped Sportacus settle in bed, pulling the blanket up to his chin before tucking him in. Brushing back a few strands of hair from his eyes, Robbie pressed a kiss on his forehead before he turned off the lights and left the bedroom.

Once he was alone, Robbie leaned against the wall, sliding down slowly till his face was buried atop his knees. What can he do? Robbie couldn’t allow his partner to self-destruct like this. Every option that he thought of was pushed away in fear of making Sportacus hide away but then again, was it better than letting him spiral down like this?

Robbie knew he had to help the hero but he didn’t know how to. He couldn’t do this alone…

He lifted his head, eyes widening in realization. Robbie wasn’t exactly alone, per say. He’d been told previous times in the past that if he ever needed help, all he had to do was call him. While they bicker and argue most of the time, there was no doubt that they love each other very much. Regardless of the size of the problem, his cousin had promised to give it his all in aiding him.

This was most certainly a huge problem in Robbie’s eyes and he needed help. Fishing out his cellphone, he scrolled down his contacts list till he found the number that he wanted.

Robbie pressed the call button and brought the phone up to his ear, desperately hoping that his cousin would pick up quickly. Thankfully, his prayers were answered when a click was heard, followed by a low purr.

“Mmm… hello cupcake. It’s been awhile.”

He heaved out a sigh of relief. “Hello Glanni. I’m calling because… I need help…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this whole thing could have been avoided if they just, you know, talk to each other siggghhhh these boys. at least someone gets to join the party! the next chapter might take some time since i have yet to fully grasp on how to write the newest additions to this fic but I do have a plan I promise!

**Author's Note:**

> yeesh. sport honey pls take better care of yourself. hopefully i'll get chapter 2 out within the next week or so. it depends on how well I tackle my pile of wips *sighs*


End file.
